Last night we went and saw the latest Star Trek movie. It’s neither one of the better ones nor one of the worse ones. I’m not a die-hard Trek fan, but I have seen all the movies and all the episodes of the original series and TNG and most DS9s (even though I liked that series best, it just wasn’t that handy). I’ve watched rather few of Gilligan – er, Voyager – or Enterprise.

FWIW, here’s my classification:

First rate II (Khan), VI (Undiscovered Country), VIII (First Contact);
Some major flaws IV (Voyage Home), X (Nemesis), I (“The Motion Picture");
Badly flawed VII (Generations), III (Search for Spock), IX (Insurrection);
Abysmal V (Final Frontier).

So, better than any odd-number, but not up to any previous even-number. Given that its immediate predecessor was the second-worst of the bunch, I think it might be time to send Trek movies out to pasture for good.

Non-spoiler bullet-point critiques:

- Too much of an “action-adventure” motif as opposed to having strategy, suspense, wonderment, etc. This has really hurt the last several movies.

- A scene that seems to exist primarily to create demand for certain spin-off toys. This has also really hurt the last several movies.

- Too many plot elements were lifted from earlier movies. (When there’s less risk of this being a spoiler, I’d really like to discuss.)

- Too little of the Romulans, who were always a rather compelling adversary.

- Why did the Remans (whom I don’t remember seeing in previous Trek scenarios) look like Nosferatu the Vampyr? If anything, the bad guys in Insurrection would have been better qualified for that look.

- The primary villain doesn’t have a good enough motivation to explain his most villainous goal. (Also a problem in Generations.)

- There’s not much reason for the Remans to support their leader in his nefarious endeavors either.

- The convenient easy chink in the adversary’s armor didn’t ring true at all, it was only there to allow a particular character to get to the climactic scene.

- The inconsistency of when alien languages are intelligible (depending on the needs of the plot for more action) is annoying.

I can’t offer you any compelling reason to go see it –even at matinee prices. Unless you’ve got an uncontrollable jones for popcorn, you might as well stay in.